A Valuable Lesson

I learned an incredibly valuable lesson as a mom today.  If you're not a mom, this might not be totally interesting to you, but hang on to it.  Someday it might come in handy.

As a parent, it's easy to become focused on the negative/less desirable qualities or things our children do that we hope to one day steer in the right direction.  As moms, it's sometimes even easier for us to blab our frustrations, insecurities, even negative attitudes about these things to those that share an interest in our children (i.e. teachers, caregivers, fellow-parents of friends, relatives, etc.)  We have our reasons for this: we need to vent, we're feeling a little insecure about it, and we want the other people to know "oh yes, I realize this is a problem!" or we're just so fixated on the issue, it leeches out of us in every situation.

Here's the lesson I learned: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!  You have no idea how you are affecting your child and what you are setting them up for by doing this.  Since I've started my daycare, people feel a certain connection or something with me that makes them want to share all of these types of things.  I realized today, that when I meet their children for the first time, or really have a chance to be around them, I already have an idea of what they are going to be.  If I've heard negative, somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, a place I wish wasn't there... I've decided I don't like the kid.  This is not normal for me!  I like almost all kids!

Please oh please moms... remember this.  Hopefully there are people in your inner sanctum, circle of trust that you can vent to and get advice from.  For all of the rest of us, speak about your child like they are God's gift to the universe (because they are!) and expect that the people that are helping care for them or spend time with them will see them as perfect angels*.  You'll be amazed at how we actually believe they are!  They might even start acting like it for you.

*Before you get on your high-horse, please realize I know there are legitimate issues that need to be shared with teachers, etc.  I would just urge you to really evaluate if your situation truly is one of those issues and what the most supportive and positive way of communicating about it is.  Really people, you'll be amazed.  I'm learning this the hard way myself.