When I was in the shower this morning, the sensation of water hitting my skin was a little different than usual. (Hang in there, I promise this won't be more than you can handle!) It literally hurt as the water ran over my legs. When I looked down I swear to you it looked like fur was growing on them. I don't know what happened to me, but I seriously must have forgotten to shave my legs for about a month. I don't have super hairy legs and I'm not super religious about shaving in the winter but this went to new levels even for me. I don't know how this escaped my notice!
Fortunately, I was up a little early for work so I could tackle this problem head on. Unfortunately, the last time I bought razors, I went the cheap route... because it's winter. I started hacking at my legs, desperately trying to rid them of the redwood forest of growth, and two razors later, I was finally rid of most of the growth from the knees down. The whole time I was in the shower I kept giggling at a flashback from my teenage years.
My mother and two friends and I decided to bet on who could go the longest without shaving our legs one winter. I'm pretty sure my mother won- and now I understand why she really didn't care how long she went without shaving! Sometimes, life just happens and the hair keeps growing.
2.18.2010
Another Awesome Oldie!
{I thought this one was awesome as I was reading it last night because I just happen to be stuck smack dab in the middle of some sort of dejavous experience right now! So super-awesome!}
Whew- what a week. It started Tuesday with what else but my period. yech!
After 19 years of it you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Not so much. Every month is the same crappy feeling and the beginning of counting down the days till it's over. Tired, cranky, crabby, bloated, can't-stuff my-face-full-of-enough-sugar fits of rage are just the tip of my ice-burg. Good for you if you don't have these fantastic feelings when you are experiencing this lovable time of life. Good for freaking you! (And yes, I know- NINETEEN years of having a period- that really makes me feel OLD!) {Insert shocking news that I've now tipped the scale to TWENTY-ONE years of menstrual bliss. Also awesome!}
To top it all off- I had PMS and a crappy period. Usually it's one or the other- not two whole weeks of bitchiness- my poor husband. And to put a cherry on top of that... he is, of course, having his period too.
"Urgh! Get over it! Yes, I'm bitchy right now. Stop pushing my damn buttons! No, I don't want to cuddle. Get your grubby hands off me and go away. Leave me to my girl TV and chocolate and give me some damn peace and quiet. Sure you can go out with the guys for the night, go for the whole week. PLEASE!"
Anyway, my mind always feels about 1000 miles away when I'm having "the time". (Exactly what is the appropriate way of talking about the period repeatedly without grossing people out? heh- deal with it, I'm not feeling too accommodating.) I can't complete a thought half the time and I forget to do all sorts of things. I think I made it through the week with only a few small mishaps- at least I hope so! Next week I may realize I left a pair of panties stuck in the oven or some other totally ridiculous incident. We will see.
What is the point here? There is none- so if you are hoping for one stop reading now!
So yesterday I had a totally wild day at work. Running from here to there, handling this, taking care of that. Stopping for a minute to try to show my kids I really do love them even if I am acting like the creature from the black lagoon. The usual. It was fun- I thrive on stress and drama, so no biggie.
Then, today it hits me. The fallout from trying to be superwoman in the middle of menstruation (for god's sake!) hits me square in the face, and I fall apart. I couldn't even make the basic decisions. Hubby had to order my lunch for me because I couldn't even decide if I want pepperoni or sausage on my damn pizza. The whole day I had that feeling you get after sex that lasts just a little bit too long. "Wobbly kneed, who's going to get up and do the clean up and put the sheets back on the bed, and do we really even care?" kind of weak and tired and spent feelings. Blech!
I'm trapped in this senseless blog and can't get out. I have no point and don't know how to end. There is no moral, just senseless hormonal bitching. Do with it what you will. I hope you still love me in the morning.
2.17.2010
An Oldie!
I was thinking it would be really fun to revisit some of my old Myspace blogs today.
{Totally weird tangent: seems like forever ago that myspace was my life-blood while cooped up at home with a toddler and newborn! Hello???? They are now a first-grader and preschooler??? What??? Who slipped me an Ambien? I won't even get started on what a trash-pit Myspace is now.}
And here's a really fun one I found that makes me super happy my first-grader and preschooler are just that and no longer toddlers and newborns! Thought you might enjoy it too!
I only have a second for this- I really should be cleaning the astronomical mess my son just made. I am too furious and dismayed to even begin to tackle it though. And if I don’t have some outlet I may just go into his room where he is now on a permanent time out and find some sort of torturous punishment that may lead him to Cybil type behaviors later on in life.
Monkey and I were just happily folding the 4 loads of clean laundry that have accumulated in the laundry room over the past couple of days and stacking it in neatly sorted piles on the washer/dryer. I welcome his company for this task as he hands me the clothes from the baskets on the floor. It’s great- I don’t have to bend over and it makes it go super-fast as I am in a race with a two year old to keep up with his lightening speed!
Then it strikes... I have to PEE. This is all his fault- he is the child that wrecked my bladder while incubating on top of it. Now at various times of the month there’s no warning signs- just the sudden need to find a bathroom NOW! There’s no waiting, no thinking of what 'Senor Distructicon' may accomplish while I am running across the SMALL house to the nearest bathroom. I act-quickly and without regard as to how many golfers may be seeing me through the window, tripping over my sweats as I drop them along the way. Approximately 2 seconds after I leave the laundry room I hear him scream a scared but not necessarily hurt "moooommmmmm!" Well crap, what has he achieved in the past 5.2 seconds? It can’t be that bad. I finish. Walking briskly back to the laundry room I smell it before I see it. A brand new bottle of Gain Super Ulta Concentrated- guaranteed to get you 174,000 loads from this giant bottle- is dumped all over every article of clothing, the washer/dryer, the floor, the cleaning products, the LIGHT FIXTURE and the boy. The devilish little boy that I KNOW BETTER than to leave unattended in any area of my house- bathrooms and laundry room at the top of the list- has found a way to end my life with laundry detergent. I will never know how he did it. But I want to crawl in a hole due to the amazing amount of work it will take to get my laundry room and clothes back to normal.
One of us might not make it through this day!
{Totally weird tangent: seems like forever ago that myspace was my life-blood while cooped up at home with a toddler and newborn! Hello???? They are now a first-grader and preschooler??? What??? Who slipped me an Ambien? I won't even get started on what a trash-pit Myspace is now.}
And here's a really fun one I found that makes me super happy my first-grader and preschooler are just that and no longer toddlers and newborns! Thought you might enjoy it too!
I only have a second for this- I really should be cleaning the astronomical mess my son just made. I am too furious and dismayed to even begin to tackle it though. And if I don’t have some outlet I may just go into his room where he is now on a permanent time out and find some sort of torturous punishment that may lead him to Cybil type behaviors later on in life.
Monkey and I were just happily folding the 4 loads of clean laundry that have accumulated in the laundry room over the past couple of days and stacking it in neatly sorted piles on the washer/dryer. I welcome his company for this task as he hands me the clothes from the baskets on the floor. It’s great- I don’t have to bend over and it makes it go super-fast as I am in a race with a two year old to keep up with his lightening speed!
Then it strikes... I have to PEE. This is all his fault- he is the child that wrecked my bladder while incubating on top of it. Now at various times of the month there’s no warning signs- just the sudden need to find a bathroom NOW! There’s no waiting, no thinking of what 'Senor Distructicon' may accomplish while I am running across the SMALL house to the nearest bathroom. I act-quickly and without regard as to how many golfers may be seeing me through the window, tripping over my sweats as I drop them along the way. Approximately 2 seconds after I leave the laundry room I hear him scream a scared but not necessarily hurt "moooommmmmm!" Well crap, what has he achieved in the past 5.2 seconds? It can’t be that bad. I finish. Walking briskly back to the laundry room I smell it before I see it. A brand new bottle of Gain Super Ulta Concentrated- guaranteed to get you 174,000 loads from this giant bottle- is dumped all over every article of clothing, the washer/dryer, the floor, the cleaning products, the LIGHT FIXTURE and the boy. The devilish little boy that I KNOW BETTER than to leave unattended in any area of my house- bathrooms and laundry room at the top of the list- has found a way to end my life with laundry detergent. I will never know how he did it. But I want to crawl in a hole due to the amazing amount of work it will take to get my laundry room and clothes back to normal.
One of us might not make it through this day!
2.16.2010
Caffeine Free Me
The caffeine free me is not a happy me. Or nice. Or even civil for that matter.
But I'm sure she is going to be healthier.
Hubby and I have changed the way we eat and are exercising and are, just in general getting healthy and trying to lose weight. We are both succeeding marginally. So, I decided to put us on a "cleanse" and it basically sucks but I'm definitely feeling cleansed.
Anyone that has ever spent a whole day with me knows I have to have a Coke at some point in the day. If I don't have one by 2:15 on the nose, I get a raging headache that only goes away with large quantities of pop. Notice I didn't say "Coke". By the time this headache rolls in I will take any sort of carbonated, caffeinated beverage that I can get my hands on and make it QUICK.
Well, this particular cleanse that we picked doesn't call for Coke. Not once does it tell me to chug any sort of carbonated beverage. What the hell kind of cleanse is this??? It better be the kind that makes you lose some freaking weight is all I know! I'm on day three of caffeine free me and I am feeling the pain! My head feels like it's going to explode from the forehead straight through the middle of my skull and out the back of my neck just where the spinal cord meets that little ball thing. Oh yes baby, I can feel all of those little parts. And right about now I don't like one single one of them.
So, I think I'll go chug some vegetable broth and hope to holy god that when I wake up tomorrow morning I can't feel my temporal lobe like it's growing spines and plotting my death.
But I'm sure she is going to be healthier.
Hubby and I have changed the way we eat and are exercising and are, just in general getting healthy and trying to lose weight. We are both succeeding marginally. So, I decided to put us on a "cleanse" and it basically sucks but I'm definitely feeling cleansed.
Anyone that has ever spent a whole day with me knows I have to have a Coke at some point in the day. If I don't have one by 2:15 on the nose, I get a raging headache that only goes away with large quantities of pop. Notice I didn't say "Coke". By the time this headache rolls in I will take any sort of carbonated, caffeinated beverage that I can get my hands on and make it QUICK.
Well, this particular cleanse that we picked doesn't call for Coke. Not once does it tell me to chug any sort of carbonated beverage. What the hell kind of cleanse is this??? It better be the kind that makes you lose some freaking weight is all I know! I'm on day three of caffeine free me and I am feeling the pain! My head feels like it's going to explode from the forehead straight through the middle of my skull and out the back of my neck just where the spinal cord meets that little ball thing. Oh yes baby, I can feel all of those little parts. And right about now I don't like one single one of them.
So, I think I'll go chug some vegetable broth and hope to holy god that when I wake up tomorrow morning I can't feel my temporal lobe like it's growing spines and plotting my death.
2.12.2010
"Olympic Opening Ceremony" Rambling Review
If you didn't watch the Olympic Opening Ceremonies this will probably be completely uninteresting to you. Even if you did watch, you probably won't give a hoot. But I'm watching alone and I need someone to tell my comments to.
First of all, this wasn't part of the Opening Ceremonies, but it was the opener for the Opening, so I will comment on the 2010 version of "We are the World." What the HELL??? There were some positives. I can't remember them for the monstrosity that was the "Hip Hop" verse. Lil John? (or was it Lil Wayne? Damn those teeth, I can never tell). Kanye West? Really. Not a good idea... just NOT. There are no words.
Now to the Opening Ceremonies... (Please note, I am writing this as I watch so you're basically on 'real time'. And I don't claim to be accurate about many of my "facts" so don't bother in correcting me, I don't really care.)
So far it's just a classy show- not over the top and overdone as some may think the China show was for the summer games- just an intimate celebration of their honor as hosts and their country. I love the video of the landscape and snowboarder; makes me want to visit Vancouver via Whistler!
The presentation of the Canadian Flag was fun; I love the mounted guard.
"Oh Canada" was beautiful! That 14 year-old has an amazing voice!
This little song and dance honoring the aboriginal tribes of Canada is ok. Nothing spectacular, understated and special for the natives, I'm sure.
I'm a little torn about the parade of athletes being at the beginning. I think it's a great idea, but I'm a little bored. I usually tune out about this time of the show. Maybe I'll go grab some ice cream. Cold weather makes me crave ice cream...
...I love all these great hats! And turtleneck sweaters.
Oh crap, we're still in the A's of the parade. If I babble senselessly through the alphabet you won't want to ever read another thing I write.
Woah baby! Azerbaijan's pants are fantastico! I just googled to see if I could find a picture to post; and unfortunately, there isn't one posted yet, but Twitter is all a-tweet as people post like crazy. Some of my favorites were "My eyes, my eyes!" "Must-Have winter wear!" and "Supa-Fresh!". Oh good times!
Unfortunately for Bermuda, they followed closely behind Azerbaijan so their Bermuda Shorts were an understatement. Maybe if they were paisley they would have grabbed a bit more attention.
Oh man, it's been about 20 minutes since Azerbaijan's pants debuted and I still can't stop laughing about them. They definitely put themselves on the map tonight! Russia should ask to borrow their pants. That would make one hell of an outfit!
I've written about 25 quippy little comments, but chose to delete them because unless you're watching the Olympics, you would have no idea what I'm talking about and I'm pretty sure it would just be annoying. I made myself laugh a lot, though. So that's all that matters.
Lindsay Jacobellis (the American Snowboarder) looks like Bimbo Barbie. Shaun White has better hair than she does. I know I'm being petty, but I'm getting BORED.
FINALLY, the Canadians are here. Now sit down so we can watch the show!
LOVE the Northern Lights and Ice/Glacier effects. Awesome.
The whale/ocean show is spectacular. It's freaking me out!
Sarah McLachlan rocks! Her voice is angelic- perfect for this part of the show. I'm a sucker for good ballet. This is pretty decent.
I'm not going to lie, I'm old. It's taking all I've got to hold my eyes open and see the end of this show. That's pitiful.
Those Canadians, they're just crazy. Punk-Rock-Devil-Fiddlers and mo-hawk sporting kilt-wearers? They sure know how to throw a party. Charlie Daniels would be proud. Maybe the devil didn't go down to Georgia. Maybe he went up to Canada?!?
The prairie scene is unreal. I have never seen anyone fly like this before- or run in place like this for that matter. That Tomas could teach Tinkerbell a thing or two!
Holy Mother- this show just doesn't end!
Oh I love this mountain/skiing/snowboarding scene. So cool!
The slam poet is brilliant! Love him! Perfect.
Well, my overall review of the Opener is that even though it went a bit too long, there were some incredible elements and I'm just darn proud of those Canadians! What a wholesome show to be proud of.
I'm excited for the Winter Olympics!
Now off to bed I go! Finally.
First of all, this wasn't part of the Opening Ceremonies, but it was the opener for the Opening, so I will comment on the 2010 version of "We are the World." What the HELL??? There were some positives. I can't remember them for the monstrosity that was the "Hip Hop" verse. Lil John? (or was it Lil Wayne? Damn those teeth, I can never tell). Kanye West? Really. Not a good idea... just NOT. There are no words.
Now to the Opening Ceremonies... (Please note, I am writing this as I watch so you're basically on 'real time'. And I don't claim to be accurate about many of my "facts" so don't bother in correcting me, I don't really care.)
So far it's just a classy show- not over the top and overdone as some may think the China show was for the summer games- just an intimate celebration of their honor as hosts and their country. I love the video of the landscape and snowboarder; makes me want to visit Vancouver via Whistler!
The presentation of the Canadian Flag was fun; I love the mounted guard.
"Oh Canada" was beautiful! That 14 year-old has an amazing voice!
This little song and dance honoring the aboriginal tribes of Canada is ok. Nothing spectacular, understated and special for the natives, I'm sure.
I'm a little torn about the parade of athletes being at the beginning. I think it's a great idea, but I'm a little bored. I usually tune out about this time of the show. Maybe I'll go grab some ice cream. Cold weather makes me crave ice cream...
...I love all these great hats! And turtleneck sweaters.
Oh crap, we're still in the A's of the parade. If I babble senselessly through the alphabet you won't want to ever read another thing I write.
Woah baby! Azerbaijan's pants are fantastico! I just googled to see if I could find a picture to post; and unfortunately, there isn't one posted yet, but Twitter is all a-tweet as people post like crazy. Some of my favorites were "My eyes, my eyes!" "Must-Have winter wear!" and "Supa-Fresh!". Oh good times!
Unfortunately for Bermuda, they followed closely behind Azerbaijan so their Bermuda Shorts were an understatement. Maybe if they were paisley they would have grabbed a bit more attention.
Oh man, it's been about 20 minutes since Azerbaijan's pants debuted and I still can't stop laughing about them. They definitely put themselves on the map tonight! Russia should ask to borrow their pants. That would make one hell of an outfit!
I've written about 25 quippy little comments, but chose to delete them because unless you're watching the Olympics, you would have no idea what I'm talking about and I'm pretty sure it would just be annoying. I made myself laugh a lot, though. So that's all that matters.
Lindsay Jacobellis (the American Snowboarder) looks like Bimbo Barbie. Shaun White has better hair than she does. I know I'm being petty, but I'm getting BORED.
FINALLY, the Canadians are here. Now sit down so we can watch the show!
Oh Nelly Furtado and Brian Adams... what a fun surprise. Hmmm... I'm a little cheesed out by the "Village People" aboriginals dancing around and the uber-inspirational song. Sorry Brian, you'll always be my favorite 80's rocker though.
LOVE the Northern Lights and Ice/Glacier effects. Awesome.
The whale/ocean show is spectacular. It's freaking me out!
Sarah McLachlan rocks! Her voice is angelic- perfect for this part of the show. I'm a sucker for good ballet. This is pretty decent.
I'm not going to lie, I'm old. It's taking all I've got to hold my eyes open and see the end of this show. That's pitiful.
Those Canadians, they're just crazy. Punk-Rock-Devil-Fiddlers and mo-hawk sporting kilt-wearers? They sure know how to throw a party. Charlie Daniels would be proud. Maybe the devil didn't go down to Georgia. Maybe he went up to Canada?!?
The prairie scene is unreal. I have never seen anyone fly like this before- or run in place like this for that matter. That Tomas could teach Tinkerbell a thing or two!
Holy Mother- this show just doesn't end!
Oh I love this mountain/skiing/snowboarding scene. So cool!
The slam poet is brilliant! Love him! Perfect.
Well, my overall review of the Opener is that even though it went a bit too long, there were some incredible elements and I'm just darn proud of those Canadians! What a wholesome show to be proud of.
I'm excited for the Winter Olympics!
Now off to bed I go! Finally.
2.04.2010
H is for HOME.
Obviously I've been a little busy. I used to blog every day, maybe twice a day. Now I'm lucky if I manage once every two months. I wonder if it will be different once I'm Home again. Speaking of which, t-minus 22 days and counting till I'm home, glorious home.
I'm really fortunate to have found a close-by neighbor that has two adorable children that I'll be watching. I also have a friend from work that's expecting and wants me to watch her little girl, which means a newborn at the end of summer. I'm so excited for all of these kids. I have read more books on the development of the human brain in the formative years (newborn to 5 years) and I'm just seriously hoping I don't screw up anyone's kid! : ) OK- not really. I know I'm good with kids. Miss Sunshine has taught me so much, the wonder of a child's brain and what little sponges they are. Monkey has taught me patience I didn't know anyone was capable of, and how to appreciate every tiny way a little boy approaches life, even when it means cleaning detergent off the ceiling of the laundry room.
Every day I spend a little time coming up with things I want to teach Monkey, and hope that the other children that are here will enjoy learning it too. I never in a million years thought I'd be excited about spending 8 hours a day with kids all around me, but I think I'm going to LOVE it. If not, there's always wine for dinner. (kidding)
I am going to miss parts of my job at the college. Even though it is SO challenging now, it has great rewards. Knowing that some seriously desperate people feel encouraged by little ol' me each day is such a huge reward for the other BS that goes on too. I hope I'll find a way to stay in touch with the rewarding part of what I've done there. And thanks to my aforementioned co-worker/friend, I'll be able to hear about the rest of the BS from afar. : )
So, 22 days till life as we know it is no more. BRING. IT. ON!
I'm really fortunate to have found a close-by neighbor that has two adorable children that I'll be watching. I also have a friend from work that's expecting and wants me to watch her little girl, which means a newborn at the end of summer. I'm so excited for all of these kids. I have read more books on the development of the human brain in the formative years (newborn to 5 years) and I'm just seriously hoping I don't screw up anyone's kid! : ) OK- not really. I know I'm good with kids. Miss Sunshine has taught me so much, the wonder of a child's brain and what little sponges they are. Monkey has taught me patience I didn't know anyone was capable of, and how to appreciate every tiny way a little boy approaches life, even when it means cleaning detergent off the ceiling of the laundry room.
Every day I spend a little time coming up with things I want to teach Monkey, and hope that the other children that are here will enjoy learning it too. I never in a million years thought I'd be excited about spending 8 hours a day with kids all around me, but I think I'm going to LOVE it. If not, there's always wine for dinner. (kidding)
I am going to miss parts of my job at the college. Even though it is SO challenging now, it has great rewards. Knowing that some seriously desperate people feel encouraged by little ol' me each day is such a huge reward for the other BS that goes on too. I hope I'll find a way to stay in touch with the rewarding part of what I've done there. And thanks to my aforementioned co-worker/friend, I'll be able to hear about the rest of the BS from afar. : )
So, 22 days till life as we know it is no more. BRING. IT. ON!
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